Emotions

So, I was going to get straight to the point until my grandma called me out to pack my breakfast for tomorrow. She only needed me to determine how much rice I wanted (I hate having too much.), so I figured it would only take a couple seconds. Then, as I was scooping my rice, I noticed how white it was. I always thought rice was somewhat dingier, but this rice was... pure white. Like hard, cylindrical, refridgerated snow. Random thoughts aside...

I sometimes don't like to have emotions. Happiness is all well and good, but that's about it. You have your basic "I wish I didn't feel this" emotions, like sadness and pain. Then you have the sort of things I don't like. First off, I hate... hating. Does that make any sense? I've said it before, but I honestly don't like the feel of that emotion. It's just so... dark. And yet, it's so human. Everyone hates. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. No one is so saintly, save for Jesus Christ, and that's assuming that he's real (Reference: I'm agnostic.).

But most of all, I think I don't like to love. This is where it gets abnormal. Yeah, consider this typical teenage angst, but I say... love sucks. I have the worst luck with it, I swear. I feel love for people I don't have a chance with. Don't just take this in the lovey dovey sense, either. I mean friends, in general. There's so much of a sense of ridiculous caring inside of me for people that don't even look at me twice. Okay, that might be an exaggeration. People know me, yeah, but most of them don't give a lick. I suppose it's selfish of me to say that, but hey, it's how I feel. Deal with it. Don't even get me started on guys. That just worsens it. I also love things that I'll never get anywhere at. Or at least, failed a dream at.

I guess you can say that I don't like to be disappointed or anything that can lead to disappointment. Happiness can never disappoint you.