Tough times, good rhymes, nobody's listening.

Okay, nobody reads this anymore, but whatever.

It often feels like I can't have it both ways. And by that, I mean that I can't be happy and successful at the same time. I know success is such a shallow thing to want, but everybody does, really. Maybe that's why I've been letting the whole "success" thing pass me by for the past few months, though. I prefer happiness so much more at the moment.

But here it comes, the end result of something I did almost half a year ago. College acceptances. Karma's hitting me, and it's hitting me hard. But screw karma, really. I'll have it my way, just like at Burger King. Or King Burger. But don't get crazy. Just when I feel like all my dreams are coming true, they get stripped away just as soon.

I never asked for this. There are some things we are born with and some things that we earn, but I don't feel like I've worked to deserve anything nice. I'm always afraid that at the end of the day, I'll be the same person that I was from the start.

But I have to try, or everything that I've done will have been worthless. I have to try to attain something or there won't be a direction to go in. If I give up now, let these last few moments of high school pass me by, there won't be a second chance. There are things to be answered for, to make up for, to repent for. I know that I've probably done a great deal more terrible things in these four years than good, but if in these next three months I can do something or say something to change it... well, that'd be worth an entire three months by itself.

I'm trying to find my way through a life that clearly doesn't agree with me. Or, I don't know, maybe it's trying to find me.